Smarter Living

40 One-Liner Jokes That’ll Crack Up Your Friends

As the famed conductor and pianist Victor Borge as soon as mentioned, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” If you’ve ever shared a joke with a detailed buddy, you recognize that is true. Laughter bonds us and reinforces {our relationships}. A 2017 examine within the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior discovered that a sense of humor may even be the muse of a brand new friendship, as a result of it demonstrates that you just each share an analogous worldview. If you chortle on the similar issues, the chances are fairly good that you just even have the identical values and pursuits. Need just a few contemporary jokes to spice issues up together with your bestie—or somebody you wish to be your bestie? We’ve received you coated. Here are 40 hilarious one-liner jokes assured to place a smile on each of your faces.

Funny One-Liner Jokes

  1. I requested the IT man, “How do you make a Motherboard?” He mentioned, “I tell her about my job.”
  2. Why was Cinderella dropped from the soccer staff? She stored working away from the ball.
  3. I wished my youngsters to look at the orchestra, however I needed to flip it off. Too a lot sax and violins.
  4. How does a computer get drunk? It takes display pictures.
  5. Dogs cannot see your bones. But CAT scan.
  6. What’s one of the best factor about dwelling in Switzerland? I don’t know, however the flag is a giant plus.
  7. My buddy Jack says he can talk with greens. Jack and the beans discuss.
  8. Why are artwork collectors such massive followers of gasoline? Because it makes their Van Gogh.
  9. Peter Pan is a horrible boxer. Whenever he throws a punch, it Neverlands.
  10. What do you name a humorous jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO.
  11. My dad died as a result of he couldn’t keep in mind his blood sort. He stored insisting we “be positive,” but it surely’s simply so laborious with out him.
  12. If you commit a primary diploma homicide in Canada, is it a 34 diploma homicide within the US?
  13. What do you name a noodle that doesn’t drink? Soba.
  14. A century in the past, two brothers determined it was potential to fly. And as you may see, they had been Wright.
  15. I had an appointment to see my psychic subsequent week, however she simply referred to as to cancel. She mentioned I received’t have the ability to make it.
  16. You do understand that vampires aren’t actual. Unless you Count Dracula.
  17. What do you name a bundle of hay in a church? Christian Bale.
  18. I at all times knock on the fridge door earlier than opening it, simply in case there is a salad dressing.
  19. My spouse gave me an ultimatum: Her or my habit to sweets. The choice was a bit of cake.
  20. If prisoners might take their very own mugshots… they’d be referred to as cellfies.

The Best One-Liner Jokes

  1. Why are cats unhealthy storytellers? Because they solely have one story.
  2. I attempted to begin an expert disguise and search staff, but it surely did not work out. Turns out, good gamers are laborious to search out.
  3. A panic-stricken man defined to his physician, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.” “Now settle down,” the physician calmly advised him. “You’ll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
  4. If April showers convey May flowers, what do May flowers convey? Pilgrims.
  5. What’s the distinction between a hippo and a Zippo? One is absolutely heavy, and the opposite is a bit lighter.
  6. Why did the outdated man fall within the effectively? Because he couldn’t see that effectively.
  7. I wasn’t that hungry, so I simply ate a child’s meal at McDonalds. His mom was livid.
  8. What do you name a lifeless magician? An abra-cadaver.
  9. What do you name a paper airplane that may’t fly? Stationary.
  10. How do you discover Will Smith in a snowstorm? You search for contemporary prints.
  11. What does a CIA agent do when it is time for mattress? He goes below cover.
  12. I can at all times inform when my spouse is mendacity simply by her. I can even inform when she’s standing.
  13. A cop began crying whereas he was writing me a ticket. I requested him why and he mentioned, “It’s a moving violation.”
  14. Today I discovered that if a canoe turns the other way up within the water, you may safely put on it in your head. Because it’s cap-sized.
  15. My girlfriend says if we don’t get married quickly, she’s gonna kill me. It’s a matter of spouse or loss of life.
  16. As I suspected, somebody has been including soil to my backyard. The plot thickens.
  17. I’ve a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you’ll by no means get it.
  18. Did you hear concerning the fragrance that smells of nothing? I feel it is whole non-scents.
  19. Bigfoot is usually confused with Sasquatch, Yeti by no means complains.
  20. The inventor of the throat lozenge died final month. There was no coffin at his funeral.
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