U.S. News

BRITT EKLAND says Bond should remain footloose and baby-free 

No movie has been extra eagerly anticipated. But, in a considerably controversial improvement, when well-known bachelor James Bond bursts again on to cinema screens later this month, he’ll achieve this as the daddy of slightly lady.

Reports counsel that Bond, performed by Daniel Craig, will return as a doting dad to Mathilde, his daughter with love curiosity Dr Madeleine Swann, performed by Lea Seydoux.

Of course, with fatherhood comes obligations. Indeed, whereas the movie could also be referred to as No Time To Die, any new guardian is aware of there’s barely sufficient time even to have a bathe — not to mention eradicate a villain. 

Here, proud Bond lady Britt Ekland shares her strident argument why Bond should remain footloose and child-free….

James Bond is many issues, however a father? What a fully dreadful thought. Unthinkable, actually. How would that even work?

Can you think about him swinging from a helicopter, snowboarding down a mountainside, rescuing a phenomenal lady from being crushed beneath a automobile, then heading residence to placed on his sweatpants and do bath-time?

Can you image him saying, ‘Hello dearie’ to his spouse, and, ‘How is my little girl? Here, I’ve introduced you some Jelly Babies from my journey’ to his youngster? Of course you’ll be able to’t.

The complete thought is hideous and to even begin imagining the kind of father Bond can be is to move down a route we should keep away from.

For a plot involving a toddler of Bond’s to work, he’d both should be a horrible father, which might not be a very good search for our best display hero, or a hands-on dad. I can’t determine which possibility can be extra catastrophic.

There are such excessive expectations concerning the new Bond movie as a result of it has been delayed for thus lengthy, however personally, if I lookup at that big display and see James Bond pushing a stroller with a toddler in it I’ll shout: ‘What?!’

James Bond is many issues, however a father? What a fully dreadful thought. Unthinkable, actually. How would that even work?

The whole idea is hideous and to even start imagining the sort of father Bond would be is to head down a route we should avoid, writes Britt Ekland (pictured above in The Man with the Golden Gun)

The complete thought is hideous and to even begin imagining the kind of father Bond can be is to move down a route we should keep away from, writes Britt Ekland (pictured above in The Man with the Golden Gun)

There are belongings you don’t wish to see, and Bond doing bath-time or altering nappies is up there. The horror of excited about him getting up at 3am to do an evening feed. No, no and no! If Bond is getting up at 3am it needs to be to take a name from Q saying that he must be on a sure practice, and there will probably be a gun hidden within the subsequent carriage . . .

How may he even do the varsity run anyway? A toddler within the combine would make him a goal. People are at all times plotting to homicide him.

He’d be horrible at feeding, too: James Bond doesn’t even pour his personal espresso, for goodness’ sake. He has somebody to do it for him.

You are laughing. Of course you might be. You see! That’s the issue right here. The minute you attempt to think about James Bond as a father, it’s important to think about him in a home setting, which you merely can’t, as a result of that’s not how he was designed.

There are such high expectations about the new Bond film because it has been delayed for so long, but personally, if I look up at that enormous screen and see James Bond pushing a stroller with a child in it I will shout: ‘What?!’

There are such excessive expectations concerning the new Bond movie as a result of it has been delayed for thus lengthy, however personally, if I lookup at that big display and see James Bond pushing a stroller with a toddler in it I’ll shout: ‘What?!’

How could he even do the school run anyway? A child in the mix would make him a target. People are always plotting to murder him

How may he even do the varsity run anyway? A toddler within the combine would make him a goal. People are at all times plotting to homicide him

The complete thought is sort of ridiculous, nevertheless it’s clearly simply one other instance of attempting to convey Bond ‘up to date’ indirectly. We appear to be residing in a interval the place the whole lot needs to be made palatable for a contemporary viewers. Well, you’ll be able to’t do this with Shakespeare or with Ibsen, and you’ll be able to’t with Bond both.

James Bond needs to be ridiculously good-looking, exquisitely dressed, a loyal servant to the Queen and, frankly, a little bit of a cad. To attempt to make him the rest would make him strange, which might be the worst crime of all.

Because James Bond is a fantasy determine. A fantasy for girls, however much more so for males. I’ve not but met a person who doesn’t wish to be James Bond — and why do males wish to be him? 

Because he has a glamorous, unique life which includes dangling from helicopters and sleeping with legions of lovely ladies. 

Men wish to be him as a result of he doesn’t have a nine-to-five job and doesn’t should think about the way to do the varsity pick-up.

Men wish to escape their obligations, not be reminded of them on display. James Bond can have the life they will’t have, and they will dwell the dream by him.

Obviously, society has moved on for the reason that days when Ian Fleming created Bond. I’m sufficiently old to recollect my father studying the books within the Fifties, however I’m not an entire stick-in-the-mud. I’ve accepted a whole lot of the modifications I’ve seen within the movies since I used to be a Bond Girl.

We don’t have Bond Girls any extra — they’re ladies, and multi-layered characters in their very own proper, not equipment.

OK, perhaps I’m a little bit of a stick-in-the-mud on this level: I’ll at all times be a Bond Girl, and proud to be so — however that’s simply me. I can see that for the Bond movies to remain recent and relatable, he has to evolve.

Daniel Craig performs him very in a different way to his predecessors, and they’ve been very intelligent about that. Bond hasn’t at all times handled ladies properly, which isn’t acceptable to at the moment’s audiences, so perhaps it’s OK to permit him to be slightly nicer and empathetic — whereas nonetheless being devilishly good-looking and in a position to shoot his method out of a burning constructing. But there should be a restrict to it.

James Bond doesn’t have a human facet, that’s not who he’s. He is untouchable and that’s the attraction. Yes, they did have him marrying at one stage — Diana Rigg married to George Lazenby’s Bond in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service in 1969 — however she was killed earlier than they’d even gone on their honeymoon.

Ultimately, nobody can ever ‘get’ James Bond, that’s what makes him so engaging. He should have no ties, he should be free — to do all of the issues we will’t do — and he should be everybody’s fantasy man, for ever.

Britt is touring with Bill Kenwright’s manufacturing of The Cat And The Canary.

Back to top button